The Infiniti FX

I just started shopping for a car.

I know, right? It sounds like a lot of fun! Well, let me tell you... it IS a lot of fun! That is... until you realize that someone has to pay for this new car... and that someone is going to be you (me). When you realize that you will be parting with your own hard earned money to support this new financial burden, it becomes a lot less fun and a lot more... well... let's just say annoying.

Needless to say, I have been cruising the interwebz in search of the perfect vehicle. The vehicle that will unite me with the road I travel on! A car that really *GETS* me, you know? No, actually... all that is bullshit. I want an SUV and I want it to be reasonably priced and to get good(ish) gas mileage. I just want a fuckin' car. So Mark and I have been browsing autotrader, yahoo auto, carmax... all the fun sites... looking for one and I stumbled across a particularly interesting vehicle. We'll come back to that in a second.

Now for the record, I would just like to point out that I am a terrible artist. That's actually a lie. If I am looking at a picture, I can copy it onto a piece of paper, no problem. I also have an uncanny ability to draw maps. Freehand though, that's my weakness. I have never played Pictionary, but I can almost gaurentee it would go something like this:

====
Clue: Your word is TREE
Me: *draws a tree*
Teammate 1: Is it a...
Teammate 2: WTF is that?
Teammate 3: Is it a boat?
Teammate 2: No....
Teammate 3: A spider? A baseball bat??
Me: *crazy eyes*
Teammate 1: Abraham Lincoln! A penny?!?!?
Me: *shakes head, points to the tree*
Teammate 2: The White House?
Teammate 1: Brazil?
Teammate 2: A basketball? A monkey? A swimming pool??
*Time's up!*
Me: It's a TREE you fucking idiots! See! The trunk? The branches? The leaves??? I even used the green marker!
Teammate 1: I'm still pretty sure that's Abraham Lincoln.
====

Naturally, I am terrible at drawing cars. In fact, here is my artists representation of a car. Any car, really.So when I stumbled across the Inifiniti FX, it really took my breath away. Not because I found it to be particularly amazing... or because I thought it might be "the one"... but because it looks like this:

Now... maybe we should talk about where Infiniti came up with this concept design and why I am not getting my fair share of the benefits? The first words out of my mouth were "Look at the hood! That looks like how I draw cars! Why is it so long??" And really... why IS it so long? How big is the engine in this thing? Chillax Infiniti, this isn't the Indy 500. I just need something to get me to and from doctors appointments.

Bottom Line: I'm not getting an Infiniti. I wish I could say that it was because of the hood, but really... it's because I have slightly better things to do with $50,000. Like buy candy.

ACCUSATION: Copying my drawing of a car and making it into a real car.
VERDICT: Guilty of ugliness and long hoodedness.

The JetBlue Incident

There's been a lot of uproar lately about Steven Slater, the JetBlue flight attendant who basically threw a hissy fit and quit his job is style. If you don't know about it, you can read all about it HERE.

So when this all happened, there were a lot of conflicting reports. All we really knew was that a JetBlue flight attendant got super pissed, yelled into the little intercom, jumped off the plane, and was subsequently arrested. We heard that he faces 7 years in prison... and JetBlue and the Port Authority basically said that what he did was extremely dangerous and he endangered the lives of everyone on board.

Based on the cries and uproar we heard that first day (I mean, 7 years in prison?!?), I formed an opinion that this is what had happened:

Yesterday, I finally saw a video of what happened... and I have to say, I was quite disappointed. Here is my artistic reproduction:

I really wish JetBlue and the Port Authority would stop acting like this guy almost caused everyone on board this plane to die a fiery and painfull death. They keep saying that he endangered all the passengers and someone could have been seriously hurt or killed. Uhh... no. The worst thing that could have happened here is that someone could have exited out the wrong door and experienced the glee and joy of bouncing down an inflatable slide. 

ACCUSATION: Endangering the lives of hundreds, ney, thousands of passengers on JetBlue flights everywhere and stealing 2 Blue Moon beers.
VERDICT: Guilty of forgetting the orange slices.